Baby Steps 1

On January 18^th, I took a sick day from school and went to see the doctor. When I first went back, I sat down while the nurse wrote down a summary of all my previous lab work including the tests I had had back in January of 2009. When I saw the doctor, I was told that I had two options. I could begin seeing a fertility specialist now and they would probably change the medicine I was on to something more powerful. The doctor explained that any fertility specialist would be glad to take me on as a patient because I am so young and they can find nothing wrong with me so far. He said that I would be a good candidate to raise their success ratings. He told me that the downside to going to see a fertility specialist right now would be that it would cost a lot more money. My other option was to stay with my doctor and continue with the clomid but begin doing IUIs. I asked the doctor though about the possibility of endometriosis. I had read a lot on the Internet about endometriosis and it seemed that I exhibited many of the symptoms. The doctor explained that endometriosis can only be diagnosed through surgery and he avoids having surgery until it is absolutely necessary. He said that there is no risk involved with an IUI but as with any surgery, even laparoscopic surgery, there is a risk. He told me that after three failed IUI attempts, this surgery would be the next logical step but if I wanted I could have the surgery before the IUI attempts. I knew I definitely wanted to stay with my current doctor for now instead of going to a fertility specialist, but the decision to have the surgery or the IUI was a hard one. If I have moderate or severe endometriosis the IUI will not help and I will have wasted three months and money on procedures that were doomed to fail. If I don’t have endometriosis or only mild endometriosis the IUIs could help and I would avoid unnecessary surgery. That day I decided to go ahead with the IUIs as my doctor initially suggested. I am not sure that this is the right choice but I must have faith. I really would like to avoid any surgery if at all possible. Because I decided to have an IUI, I began 100mg of clomid that day for the next five days and I was to return to the doctor the next week on January 27^th to have an ultrasound to measure my follicle growth to see if I would be ready for an IUI the next day.

On January 27^th, I went to the doctor’s office after school. I had an ultrasound where the technician measured all of my follicles. After the ultrasound, the doctor came in and told me that I had two follicles that were measuring over 2.0, which was very good. They then told me to go to the drugstore and pick up a prescription for HCG and then bring it back so they could administer the shot. I picked up the prescription and brought it back and I had the HCG injection.

On January 28^th, Noah and I both took half days from work so we could go to the doctor for the IUI. It was not nearly as nerve wracking as I thought it would be. Everything went very well. We were told to wait and see if a baby would come.

On February 3^rd I began to feel very sick and had a fever of 101. The next day I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with the flu. I told my doctor that I had had an IUI the previous week and he decided to treat me as if I were pregnant. I was not allowed to take any medicine for my flu symptoms. The only thing I took was some children’s Tylenol to help keep my fever down.

On February 10^th I was still battling a fever and the flu but we also found out that the IUI had not worked and we were not pregnant. I began taking Dayquil and Nyquil though to help combat my flu symptoms.

On February 11^th I called my doctor. We were given the chance to try the IUI again this month. I began the five days of clomid on February 12^th. If we try again this month, I will go in to have my follicles measured on February 21^st and for the IUI on February 22^nd, but at this point I think it depends on how much longer it takes to fully recover from this flu.

Our Story Year Three: 2010

When 2010 began, Noah and I had been married for two and a half years and were living in the guest bedroom at his mother’s house in Huntsville, AL. Noah was working as both a substitute in Madison County, Madison City, Huntsville City, and Randolph and as a tutor at Appleton. I was working as a full-time maternity substitute at Sparkman High School.

In January of 2010, we had been trying for a baby for 20 months but it had been a year since I had seen a doctor. My job as a high school choral director was stressful but it was a great experience that taught me a lot. I feel so grateful to have had this opportunity before beginning as a first year teacher.

As the spring approached we readied ourselves to begin the long job search process over again this year feeling better prepared and more confident. With the added stability of a steady job and regular pay, I began to search for a new doctor. I wanted to go to a practice that would give me just a little bit more personal attention than where I had been before. I wrote down a list of places and numbers to call during my planning period one afternoon, but I never got up the courage to do so.

In April of 2010, Noah began his full time maternity position at Bob Jones High School He loved working there and it was a wonderful experience for him to get to work with high school students. In April, I found out that the there was an elementary job opening in Huntsville. The next day, I called the principal and set up an interview.

In May of 2010, I found out that I had gotten the job. I felt so fortunate to have the opportunity to return to elementary students. I finished up the school year at Sparkman and was sad to say goodbye to everyone but excited about the upcoming school year. Noah too was finishing up the school year at Bob Jones.

In June of 2010, we were very excited when we found out that Noah too would have a permanent teaching position in the fall. With our newly established financial security, we looked for a place to live. The house that I had seen two years previously was still vacant and available to rent so we happily decided to move there.

In August of 2010, we moved into our new (rented) house. We had all of our belongings and wedding gifts out of storage and in our new home. I also called my new doctor’s office and set up an appointment.

On August 3, 2010 I had my first doctor’s appointment in nineteenth months. I said that we had been trying to have a baby for 27 months with no success. The doctor explained the most likely scenarios for our troubles and ordered a progesterone blood test on August 5^th. This week Noah and I were also beginning our in-service training as new teachers. Over the weekend, I prepared my lesson plans for the upcoming school week and became horribly overwhelmed. I did not think I was going to survive my teaching schedule and class load. I was scared and stressed and completely petrified. I did not think I was going to succeed at all.

August 10^th was my first full day of work, it was also my first day to actually teach classes. During my lunch break, the doctor’s office called and told me that I had failed my progesterone blood test. They look for a progesterone level of at least 10 but I only had a level of 3. The nurse explained that this indicated that I had not ovulated and she called in a prescription of 50mg of clomid that I would begin taking that day and would take for the next five days. I would also have a blood test again on August 28^th to measure my progesterone levels to see if the clomid worked. It was actually a bit of a relief to find something wrong, because that meant they could fix it. I once again was optimistic about our chances on clomid.

I had my blood test on August 28^th and a few days later the nurse called and told me I had a progesterone level of 18, which was very good. All we needed to do now was wait and see if a baby would come. But a baby did not come.

On September 6^th I started the 50mg of clomid for five days again and had a blood test scheduled for September 24^th to measure my progesterone level. This time the doctor’s office called me a few days later and said the my progesterone level was only at 14 and even though that did indicate ovulation they wanted at least a level of 15 in patients who were taking clomid. We were still to wait and see if a baby would come. But a baby did not come.

On October 2^nd I started 100mg of clomid for five days to see if this would raise my progesterone levels up above 15. I had a blood test scheduled for October 20^th. This month because of the increased medication, I had a few painful side affects but nothing too horrible. After my blood test, the doctor’s office called to say that my progesterone level was 40, a huge jump. This month I felt certain a baby would come, I even felt that I had early pregnancy symptoms. But a baby did not come and my symptoms were just from the medication.

On October 29^th I once again took 100mg of clomid for the next five days and had a blood test scheduled for November 16^th. But because I had ovulated for the past three months, the doctor wanted further tests done.

On November 5^th Noah and I went to Huntsville Hospital for the HSG. The hysterosalpingogram is an x-ray that looks at the uterus and fallopian tubes to make sure there is no blockage. I was very scared about going in for this test. I had read a lot about it and I knew it was rather invasive and potentially painful. I was admitted to the hospital and then sent back to the imaging waiting room. When I was called back, I had to go by myself. When the doctor came in, he and the nurse continually told me I was about to feel a little bit of pain or a little bit of pressure which made me very, very nervous. It never really hurt though; it definitely did not live up to their hype. It was uncomfortable yes but not painful. They could tell the results of this x-ray immediately, and everything went perfectly, not a problem. In November, our doctor also had Noah retested since he hadn’t been tested since January of 2009. All of Noah’s tests once again came back with perfect results. I even passed my progesterone blood test that month with a level of 20. We were once again told to wait for a baby to come. We had added hopes because the doctor at the HSG said that many times women became pregnant after having the HSG. But a baby did not come.

On November 26^th I once again took 100mg of clomid for the next five days and had a blood test scheduled for December 14^th. The nurse called a few days later and told me that my progesterone level was fine for this month but if a baby did not come, I would need to set up an appointment with the doctor again to discuss further medications and procedures, or see about going to a fertility specialist. We were told to wait and see if a baby would come. But a baby did not come.

On December 22^nd I once again took 100mg of clomid for the next five days. I also called to set up an appointment to see the doctor but because of the holidays, I was told to wait until January and after my next blood test. My doctor’s appointment was set for January 18^th.

In December of 2010, Noah and I finished our first semester at our new jobs. Though my semester had been crazy stressful and I had definitely survived and everything had gone very well. Noah also had had a very successful first semester. We then celebrated our third Christmas as TTC.

Our Story Year Two: 2009

When 2009 began, Noah and I had been married for a year and a half and were living in the same great two bedroom apartment in Mountain Brook, AL. Noah was working as a full-time Spanish teacher at Highland’s Day School and I was working as a Children’s Music Leader at Baptist Church of the Covenant and was also a graduate student at Samford University.

In January of 2009, we had been trying for a baby for eight months, and I went to the doctor for the second time. I was told that eight months was nothing to be concerned about and that I would not be considered infertile until after a year of trying which would occur in May. Nonetheless, the doctor ordered several blood tests for this month. I had my follicle stimulating hormone and my thyroid hormone checked at the beginning of the month. Both tests came back completely normal. I also had a progesterone test near the end of the month, and this test too came back normal. I once again did extensive research to understand what these tests meant. Noah also underwent testing and all of his tests came back completely normal. Feeling optimistic by all of our positive results, I once again expected that we would be pregnant any month now. Knowing that our next step would be to go back to the doctor in May for an HSG we continued to wait.

That spring, my career as a harpist fared very well. Noah and I did a good deal of traveling for harp gigs. My graduate harp recital went well in April and in May I graduated with a Masters of Music in Music Education with a certificate in Harp Performance. Noah finished up his first year as a teacher successfully and we foolishly decided to move back to Huntsville now that we were both done with school.

In May of 2009 our lives exploded into complete unrest and uncertainty. We packed up our great apartment and put all of our belongings in a storage facility in Huntsville and moved in with Noah’s mother in Huntsville. Noah left his great job at Highland’s in search of a job in Huntsville. He had one really great interview but did not get the job. During all the unrest of moving and searching for work, I did not go back to the doctor as planned in May for an HSG.

Over the summer I continued with my continuing education by obtaining my Orff Level 1 certification. During this two-week process, I learned that the state board of education had rejected the application for a teaching certificate from all Samford music education graduates. I had to re-enroll in school to take an additional three classes that summer. It was a hard battle we fought to ensure that all of our needs were met and the classes we needed were offered.

Noah applied for many, many jobs that summer and took his resume and portfolio to all reaches of the county and even to Cullman but nothing worked out for various reasons. I did not actively seek a full time teaching position because I wanted part time work to better adapt to the life a being a mother. Still convinced that I was destined to be a mother, I did not want to begin as a first year teacher because I knew how stressful and how hard being a first year teacher would be and I did not want to go through that if I was just going to quit the next semester or year to be a full time mother. As the summer drew to a close, it became apparent that Noah was probably not going to find a full time teaching position this year and because of this, I should also seek a full-time position.

In July of 2009, I received an email and an answer to prayer though not the prayer I was praying. The choir teacher at Sparkman High School (who worked with my mother in the Huntsville Community Children’s Chorus) needed a maternity substitute for the spring semester. Up until this point I had wanted to work with preschool children in a part time capacity, but fortunately I was not foolish enough to brush aside this opportunity for a great career and financial boost.

Noah and I changed our plan of action from seeking teaching positions to seeking substitute opportunities. We applied to be substitute teachers at Randolph, Madison County, Madison City, and Huntsville City. We did pretty well that fall semester as substitutes. I subbed for several music teachers that I knew around the county and Noah took his substitute resume to every high school in Huntsville City, Madison County, and Madison City. Once again we were blessed. The Spanish teachers at Bob Jones were very good about asking Noah to sub for them and one of the teachers found out she too would need a maternity sub for the end of the spring semester next year and Noah gladly accepted the offer.

We never actively stopped our pursuit of a baby, but unfortunately it was put on the back burner until we could find stability in our lives. I almost went back to the doctor in November for the HSG I should have had the previous May, but I never scheduled the appointment. Though it was never completely out of my mind, it was no longer my foremost thought; our search for work would drive our lives for the next year.

In December of 2009, I began my job as a full-time maternity substitute at Sparkman High School and Noah continued substitute teaching at various schools throughout the county. We then celebrated our second Christmas as TTC.