I just watched 'The Business of Being Born' and here are some of my thoughts.
The Business of Being Born

I was induced. I had a really fast and really easy labor. I tell people all the time, that I had a good experience. Here is a recommendation I gave someone who was asking about being induced on a mommy forum on May 24, 2012.

I think when making this decision there are a lot of factors to consider. 1. I have heard it said that one day in the womb is like one week outside. Your baby needs to grow inside you for as long as possible. Most doctors do not recommend any inducement before 39 weeks. 2. How far along are you. Are you dilated, has the baby dropped, what is your percent for effacement? I think these things will factor into how smooth your inducement goes. I'll tell you my story. At my doctor's appointment at 39 weeks and four days, I was 75% effaced and 2-3 centimeters dilated. My doctor scheduled my inducement for the next Monday at 40 weeks and 4 days but said that there was a good chance I wouldn't make it. Well, come next Monday, at 40 weeks and 4 days, my husband and I went to the hospital at 5am. We were hooked up and ready to go by 6am. I had a pitocin drip and at about 8:30, the doctor came in and broke my water and then they put me on a constant flow of pitocin. Everything was fine until the constant flow, and then things got kind of painful, I had an epidural and felt better immediately. At 11:00 I had some pain again and the nurse checked me and said I was ready to push. At 11:55pm my baby was born. It happened super quickly, it was not painful or uncomfortable. Because I was a scheduled inducement, my doctor delivered the baby and I was really happy about that. Because I was 75% effaced I did not have to do cervadil and I didn't have to go in the night before. Having a scheduled inducement was the right decision for us but I was past my due date and had naturally progressed as well. The only thing that went wrong was the baby's heart rate started dropping while I pushed, so they decided to get him on out, so they used the vacuum puller and I had an episiotomy and he was out in like a total of four sets of pushing but I don't think that was related to the inducement. Good luck, make the decision that is best for you. Most people are going to have all sorts of opinions, but listen to your doctor and make the right call for you and your baby!!

I would say, for the most part even after watching this documentary and reading what other's have said, I still stand by this post, but some parts of the documentary hit very close to things that I experienced. Here is a link to Isaac's birth story that I wrote on November 26, 2011, five days after he was born. Isaac's Birth Story

1. Isaac's heart rate dropped. Every time I pushed, Isaac's heart rate fell. This caused some concern for the nurse and the doctor but neither of them ever mentioned a c-section. Instead, they decided to do an episiotomy and use the vacuum. I really don't think he'll have long term negative effects because of this and quite frankly I'm not fretting about future learning disabilities and such. When I first saw him, his head shape was out of control. The top of his head was completely pulled up and misshapen. They put a hat on his head, so no one else in our family ever saw it and by the time we got upstairs his head was round again.

I don't know if the pitocin had anything to do with his heart rate drop or not, but the documentary would suggest that the use of pitocin makes contractions harsher for both the mother and the baby. The documentary says the mother doesn't feel them because most mothers who have had pitocin have epidurals (like I did) and can't feel the pain, but it still affects the baby because the harder contractions cause the baby some distress.

2. Bonding. The moment Isaac was born and they put him on my chest, I just felt overwhelmed, stressed, and all this pressure to be the best mother in the world with all these eyes on me. I felt like I was supposed to say something beautiful, show an appropriate emotion, or sing a meaningful song. I actually felt relieved when they took him away to clean him up. I haven't beat myself up about this because I had heard even before giving birth that this was a possibility. This dazed feeling certainly did not last forever. I did have the 'baby blues' for maybe two weeks but I definitely bonded with Isaac. I did not have post-partum depression and Isaac and I bonded quickly and strongly.

According to the documentary though, pitocin also affects the mother's immediate bonding with her baby. The documentary suggests that oxytocin is the natural hormone involved in inducing labor and while pitocin can mimmick some of the effects of oxytocin such as dialation and effacement, it cannot provide the same 'bonding' instincts that women experience who have not had pitocin. I don't know if I can blame the pitocin for all my feelings. Quite frankly, I'm just easily overwhelmed and it takes me a while to get my bearings and adjust. I'm actually quite pleased with how well I adjusted to life as a new mother.

3. Breastfeeding. I took the breastfeeding class but was still not 100% sure before giving birth what our plan would be. As soon as Isaac had gotten cleaned up and we were waiting to go upstairs to the well-baby floor, I tried to breastfeed. I knew that the best time to breast feed was within the first hour after birth. I was left alone in the room, the nurse left and there were no lactation consultants down on the labor and delivery floor. I had no idea what to do. I tried to breastfeed, but Isaac just slept. I couldn't wake him up. Isaac was an extremely sleepy baby for the first three months of his life.

I can't remember if the documentary touched on this or not, but I have read that epidurals make babies sleepier and consequently breastfeeding harder. Halfway through our hospital stay with our sleepy Isaac, I gave up and started pumping. It was so much easier to bottle feed Isaac his colustrum and so we just stuck with pumping and bottle feeding. We bottle fed Isaac breast milk for a little over four months and then switched to formula. Again, I don't know if the epidural was what made Isaac so sleepy or not.


I know I would never do a home birth. The reason we chose the hospital we did, was because they had a NICU. Thankfully, we did not need the NICU but I am so glad we were at a hospital that had one.

Maybe I'm too picky and expect too much. All in all, no matter what, I was blessed with a beautiful healthy boy and I was completely healthy as well. God was watching over that day and I will be eternally grateful to our doctor whom we trusted and obviously made good decisions for us.

Weighty Thoughts

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy......

than you do in the comments section of a news article. At least in my opinion. I'm a complete sadist. I read and continue to read comment after comment continually upset by what people say and how they say it. 

Here are two New York Times articles I have read in the past few months and I just want to write down my concerns with the message in both the content of the article and especially what you will find in the comment section. 

New York Times Article

Another New York Times Article

Both of these articles deal with weight. The first article is about how female actresses and especially comedians are embracing their fuller figures and being just 'a little bit heavy'. The second article talks about the pressure to lose all your baby weight in a matter of weeks and return to your pre-baby body. 

Weight is something with which I have always struggled. Well, it started in the fourth grade. I remember clearly that one day in p.e. class when another girl mentioned something about how thin some other classmates were and for the first time ever I realized I was not thin. Once this realization hit me, it didn't leave my mind ever again. I spent the last part of my elementary years, and all of my middle school and high school years in a constant state of inferiority because I was not thin. Here's the thing though..... I wasn't overweight. I wasn't obese. At my heaviest weight in high school, my Express jeans were a size 8 and I weighed about 140 pounds. 

In college I continued to fluctuate, I got down to 128 by the end of freshman year, but was back up to 138 by the end of the summer. I also began to live a more active lifestyle. I started running. But in the second half of my sophomore year, I got serious. I counted EVERY calorie that entered my body. I tried to keep my calories below 1300 a day. And I lost weight. By October of my junior year in college I weighed 112 pounds. I was as thin as I could possibly make myself be. I will say this, I was always cold and I stopped menstruating (well for just a couple of months). I mostly kept my weight down after that, I slowly drifted up and by the time I got pregnant I was weighing around 125 pounds. Even after college, I continued my weekly exercise routine but using the elliptical machine instead of running.

 During my first trimester I ate, and ate, and ate and didn't exercise at all. Quite frankly, I was just scared. I was pretty much petrified that I would lose the baby. I gained a whole lot of weight during that first trimester. By my second and third trimester I resumed my exercise routine and curbed my eating and even though my weight gain slowed down, by the end of my pregnancy, I weighed 184 pounds. So I definitely gained more weight that 'doctors recommend'. My doctor never mentioned anything to me. After Isaac was born, I lost 40 pounds in 4 months without trying (I was pumping breastmilk though). Since March, I have weighed 144 pounds. 

So yeah, I still weigh about twenty pounds more now, than I did before I got pregnant and yes, it bums me out, but...  honestly, I don't want to be that thin ever again. It was pretty miserable eating so little and being so hungry. I'm 5'4" and according to weight watchers my healthy weight range is 117-146 pounds. My body mass index is in the healthy range (the higher end of healthy but still healthy). So yes, ideally I will lose weight. I'm increasing the amount of exercise I do going from 20-40 minute sessions 3-5 times a week to 40-60 minute sessions 3-5 times a week. I'm also doing these thigh exercises I find on pinterest, because that's where most of me weight is lurking. 

I just think that there is a difference in being obese and unhealthy and not being a size 0. There is a middle ground. Yes, you are still healthy even if you are not stick thin. Quite frankly, for most people, I think you are actually healthier if you are not stick thin. 

I don't want to say that I'm embracing my 'fuller figure' or I'm happy with a 'few extra pounds'. What really hit my hard, is the fact that I teach middle school girls. If I call myself fat, what does that say to them? So yes, I definitely believe that being healthy is important. I know that I need to do a better job at eating healthier foods, I already do a pretty good job at exercising regularly, and maybe for my height, losing a few more pounds and getting a little farther away from that high end of the normal body mass index would do me some good. But, I'm not fat, I am not unhealthy, and I am not going to starve myself or go to any extreme to lose weight.