Weighty Thoughts

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy......

than you do in the comments section of a news article. At least in my opinion. I'm a complete sadist. I read and continue to read comment after comment continually upset by what people say and how they say it. 

Here are two New York Times articles I have read in the past few months and I just want to write down my concerns with the message in both the content of the article and especially what you will find in the comment section. 

New York Times Article

Another New York Times Article

Both of these articles deal with weight. The first article is about how female actresses and especially comedians are embracing their fuller figures and being just 'a little bit heavy'. The second article talks about the pressure to lose all your baby weight in a matter of weeks and return to your pre-baby body. 

Weight is something with which I have always struggled. Well, it started in the fourth grade. I remember clearly that one day in p.e. class when another girl mentioned something about how thin some other classmates were and for the first time ever I realized I was not thin. Once this realization hit me, it didn't leave my mind ever again. I spent the last part of my elementary years, and all of my middle school and high school years in a constant state of inferiority because I was not thin. Here's the thing though..... I wasn't overweight. I wasn't obese. At my heaviest weight in high school, my Express jeans were a size 8 and I weighed about 140 pounds. 

In college I continued to fluctuate, I got down to 128 by the end of freshman year, but was back up to 138 by the end of the summer. I also began to live a more active lifestyle. I started running. But in the second half of my sophomore year, I got serious. I counted EVERY calorie that entered my body. I tried to keep my calories below 1300 a day. And I lost weight. By October of my junior year in college I weighed 112 pounds. I was as thin as I could possibly make myself be. I will say this, I was always cold and I stopped menstruating (well for just a couple of months). I mostly kept my weight down after that, I slowly drifted up and by the time I got pregnant I was weighing around 125 pounds. Even after college, I continued my weekly exercise routine but using the elliptical machine instead of running.

 During my first trimester I ate, and ate, and ate and didn't exercise at all. Quite frankly, I was just scared. I was pretty much petrified that I would lose the baby. I gained a whole lot of weight during that first trimester. By my second and third trimester I resumed my exercise routine and curbed my eating and even though my weight gain slowed down, by the end of my pregnancy, I weighed 184 pounds. So I definitely gained more weight that 'doctors recommend'. My doctor never mentioned anything to me. After Isaac was born, I lost 40 pounds in 4 months without trying (I was pumping breastmilk though). Since March, I have weighed 144 pounds. 

So yeah, I still weigh about twenty pounds more now, than I did before I got pregnant and yes, it bums me out, but...  honestly, I don't want to be that thin ever again. It was pretty miserable eating so little and being so hungry. I'm 5'4" and according to weight watchers my healthy weight range is 117-146 pounds. My body mass index is in the healthy range (the higher end of healthy but still healthy). So yes, ideally I will lose weight. I'm increasing the amount of exercise I do going from 20-40 minute sessions 3-5 times a week to 40-60 minute sessions 3-5 times a week. I'm also doing these thigh exercises I find on pinterest, because that's where most of me weight is lurking. 

I just think that there is a difference in being obese and unhealthy and not being a size 0. There is a middle ground. Yes, you are still healthy even if you are not stick thin. Quite frankly, for most people, I think you are actually healthier if you are not stick thin. 

I don't want to say that I'm embracing my 'fuller figure' or I'm happy with a 'few extra pounds'. What really hit my hard, is the fact that I teach middle school girls. If I call myself fat, what does that say to them? So yes, I definitely believe that being healthy is important. I know that I need to do a better job at eating healthier foods, I already do a pretty good job at exercising regularly, and maybe for my height, losing a few more pounds and getting a little farther away from that high end of the normal body mass index would do me some good. But, I'm not fat, I am not unhealthy, and I am not going to starve myself or go to any extreme to lose weight.