When 2012 began, Noah, Isaac, and I were living in our great rented house in Huntsville. Noah and I had been married for four and half years and we had a one month old baby boy. Noah was working as a Spanish teacher at Randolph and I was working as a part time music and choir teacher at Randolph.
For the first time in three years, we were not trying to conceive a baby. Life with Isaac was going well. We had adjusted to each other very well. It wasn't perfect, there were the occasional sleepless nights, but for the most part, I was overwhelmingly blessed at how well I adjusted emotionally, at how perfect and well-tempered Isaac was, and a what an amazing father Noah was. I was not nursing Isaac, but I was pumping and Isaac was drinking breast milk exclusively.
That spring, things at work became tough for me, and I resorted to drinking diet cokes once again. When Isaac began solid foods at four months, we decided to stop pumping and put Isaac on formula. I was worried that I wasn't doing a good enough job with my nutrition and Isaac kept slipping in weight percentages. Isaac was perfectly healthy though, and he leveled out at the 20th percentile for weight which is just fine. He adjusted just fine to the formula.
On April 27th, a month after I finished pumping, my cycles returned. The doctor had told us to wait until Isaac was 9 months old to begin trying for another child to make sure my body had fully healed. But because of our previous difficulties, we decided to go ahead and resume trying (not fearing that we would conceive before Isaac was nine months old). This certainly was not a big concern, but I wanted to give myself a definitely starting point, so I could return to the doctor one year later to see about another baby.
On November 21st, we celebrated Isaac's first birthday with family. We had a party at our house complete with cakes, decorations, and lots of presents.
In December 2012, we finished our year filled with pumpkin patches, beach trips, family weddings, cookie baking, mountain exploring, Santa visits, and playground trips, complete with first crawls, laughs, and walks. We then celebrated our second Christmas as a family of three and our first Christmas of TTC #2.
When 2011 began, Noah and I had been married for three and a half years and we were living in our wonderful rented house in Huntsville, AL. Noah was working as a part-time Spanish teacher at Randolph and I was working as a music/librarian/computer teacher at Westminster Christian Academy.
In January of 2011, we had been trying for a baby for 32 months and we were waiting for the next doctor’s appointment. We began our second semester as teachers. Life was crazy as a big snowstorm came and canceled school for an entire week. The next week was my long awaited doctor’s appointment.
On January 18th I went back to the doctor to discuss our options. That day, I was given the option of beginning to see a fertility specialist or continuing with clomid and begin trying IUIs. I decided to stay with my doctor and we scheduled our first IUI.
On January 27th, I went to the doctor's office for an ultrasound where a technician measured my follicle growth. I had two follicles that were measuring over a 2.0 which was what they wanted, so I was sent to the drugstore to pick up the shot of HCG and bring it back to them to administer.
On January 28th, Noah and I both went back to the doctor's office for our first IUI.
On February 3rd, I felt very ill and was running a fever. I went to my general practitioner and was diagnosed wit the flu.
On February 10, still suffering from the flu, we found out that the IUI did not work.
On February 12, I began my 7th round of clomid.
On February 21st, I went to the doctor's office for an ultrasound and the technician measured my follicles. This time one follicle measured at 1.8 and the other measured 1.6, so I was sent back home and told to come back the next day.
On February 22nd, I went to the doctor's office where they administered my HCG shot without repeating the ultrasound.
On February 23rd, Noah and I returned to the doctor's office for our second IUI.
On March 10th, I took a pregnancy test and the every so slightest second pink line appeared. I took a digital pregnancy test, and this too showed positive. I called the doctor's office and went it for an appointment. I took a pregnancy test there and the test was positive. I was sent to the lab for some blood work. My Progesterone was fantastic at 46 and my HCG was low but 196. We scheduled another blood test.
On March 14th, I had another blood test. This time my progesterone stayed high at a 46 and my HCG rose to 1014. We scheduled my first Obstetrics appointment.
On March 22, I had our first Obstetrics appointment. Everything went perfectly. The baby measured at 6 weeks and 1 day but they kept our due date for November 17, 2011 which meant the gestational age of the baby was actually 5 weeks and 5 days. They were able to seek cardiac activity on the ultrasound. I went to the lab and had a full obstetrics blood work done and we scheduled our next appointment.
That spring we were incredibly busy. Noah had two out of town conferences he attended in both Birmingham and Baton Rouge. We traveled almost every Tuesday to Sewanee for symphony rehearsals and I had many other gigs as well. The extra money was great, because it helped us pay for the IUI procedures, buy a new China cabinet so we could finally get all our wedding china out of storage, and begin purchases for our new baby.
On April 5th, Noah and I went to the doctor and had another ultrasound. This time we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat. The baby's heart beat was measuring at 168 beats per minute. Everything was going very well.
In April, we made our first yard sale purchases for the baby: a bassinet, a bouncer seat, and a small swing. I also interviewed for a new job in April.
On April 27th the worst rash of tornadoes swept through Alabama. At Westminster, we had a pretty scary incident in the morning where something went up above us. Trying to get home was very hard because of all the downed trees and power lines. Nothing happened in Huntsville though. Later that night, a tornado hit the Huntsville power plant and we all lost power for over a week. They cancelled Panoply and the imposed a sun down curfew for all residents. I was still working at the Sewanee Symphony in Tennessee so Noah and I traveled up there for a rehearsal and then stayed overnight in a hotel for the concert the next day. It was nice to have a hot shower and a warm meal. We came back down to Huntsville after the concert, and the next day, with my parents, we all went to Birmingham.
On May 3rd we had another doctor's appointment but did not have an ultrasound because they were able to hear the baby's heartbeat from the outside. After this appointment they put us on a regular schedule of every four weeks for appointments.
On May 31st we had another doctor's appointment. The baby's heart rate was 148 beats per minute.
In May, I found out that I had gotten the job at Randolph and I made the huge, huge decision to leave Westminster. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. Randolph was much closer to our house so I wouldn't be making that long drive everyday, the Randolph position was part-time and I have always known I did not want to put my babies in day care if at all possible, and Noah and Mom worked there.
On July 6th, we had our big appointment. The baby was 20 weeks and 6 days. We had our big ultrasound. Everything looked great. We found out the baby was a boy and we named him David Isaac Hoppe-McQueen. Both of our father's are named David and we will call him Isaac because we prayed for a son like Abraham and Sarah.m
That summer because of our changing job situations, we worked many camps to pay the bills. Noah and I both worked at the Samford Younger Kids Theater camp, Noah worked at the Samford Older Kids Theater camp, I worked at the Dawson Memorial Baptist music camp, and the First Baptist Church music camp. It worked, our rent was paid and we were set to begin the new school year.
On August 3rd we had a doctor's appointment. Isaac's heart was beating at 142 beats per minute.
That August, life changed for us as well. Noah became a full time Spanish teacher at Randolph and I left Westminster to work as a part time music and choir teacher at Randolph. I was happy to be at the same school as Noah and Mom and to have a part time job in preparation for life with Isaac. Transitioning into Randolph was not difficult.
On August 24th, I had my gestational diabetes test, which I passed.
On August 30th, I had a doctor's appointment. Isaac heart beat was 140 beats per minute.
In September, Noah and I began our parenting and childbirth classes. We had also worked all summer to clean out one room and prepare a nursery for Isaac.
On September 27th, we had a doctor's appointment. Isaac's heart beat was 140 beats per minute.
On October 10th, I had another doctor's appointment. My belly measured on schedule at 34-35 centimeters.
On October 23rd, we had our first baby shower thrown by our Randolph alumnae frinds.
On October 24th, we had another doctor's appointment. I had the strep B test which I passed. Isaac's heart rate was 142 beats per minute. I had our first examination and the baby was officially head down but there were no signs of labor.
On October 30th, we had a baby shower at First Baptist.
On October 31st, we had another doctor's appointment. The baby was still head down and very low. The doctor said he could be born and day and be healthy.
November 4th was my last day of teaching and I went on maternity leave. I had prepared everything as best as I could. My desk was lined with little neat stacks of lesson plans and books and resources all labeled with sticky notes for my maternity substitute.
On November 7th, I had a doctor's appointment. I was one centimeter dialated and very soft.
On November 14th, I had our last doctor's appointment at 39 weeks and 4 days. Isaac's heart rate was 144 beats per minute. His had was low and ready to go. I was almost four centimeters dilated and about 80% effaced. The doctor told us that if I did not go into labor by next Monday, to show up at the hospital at 5am on Monday November 21st.
On November 21st, I had not yet gone into labor, so Noah and I showed up at Huntsville Hospital at about 5:20am. We signed in, paid our co-pay at sat down in the waiting room. I was shortly called back and given the last labor and delivery room. I filled out all the paper work, got into a hospital gown, and Noah came back in.
Our labor was pretty short. At 8:30am after my first pitocin drip, the doctor broke my water. Then they increased the pitocin drip and the pain got hard. I then had the epidural and felt better. About an hour later, I was feeling bad again, and the nurse checked me. It was time.
David Isaac Hoppe-McQueen was born at 11:55am. He weight 8 pounds and 2 ounces. He was 20.5 inches long.
He was our miracle.
In December, my maternity substitute could not direct at our school concert, so the week after Isaac was born, we both returned to the classroom. Isaac was great. I directed my choir at the assembly and the Candlelight Concert.
In December 2011, together we lit the candle at the Christmas Eve service. We then celebrated our first Christmas at a family of three.
Noah and I were prepared for Isaac, we spent months carefully planning and budgeting. We scheduled work over the summer at several camps so we could afford for me to change jobs. We called the insurance company several times to assure that everything was prepared for us to change policies. We budgeted our money so that we could afford to set up a nursery. We went to childbirth and parenting classes, and toured the hospital. We decided where we wanted to invest money and where we didn't. We decided to not spend the $150 on the 4-D ultrasound pictures, we also decided not to have professional pregnancy pictures made, and we decided to not spend a lot of money on professional newborn portraits; we wanted to wait and invest money in six month portraits. Knowing that I would be without pay for almost two months was a bit of a stretch for us, but we knew we could make it because I would continue to play harp gigs that December starting when Isaac was three weeks old, and we had enough gigs lined up to cover the loss of my normal paycheck. Everything would be fine, but there was no wiggle room for those first couple of weeks.
After I had given birth to Isaac, I was given a checklist from the hospital. This checklist told me all the things that would happen during my hospital stay, shots, tests, ect.. One of the things on this checklist was to have my baby's picture taken. The professional photographer came by our room and told us she would be by later, but she was very busy and would be back soon. I knew there was a professional photographer at the hospital and had even brought an outfit for Isaac for this occasion. The photographer came back, and took pictures of Isaac and the left. I didn't think anything of it.
But...
The next day she returned. She came in after editing the pictures and showed us the slideshow on her ipad. While the slideshow shifted through the 17 beautiful pictures of our son, for whom we had prayed so hard, some horribly sappy music played in the background. I was so pleased, I hadn't expected them to be so nice. Then she gave us a pamphlet with the prices, pointed out the package deals, and the deal that 'most parents' bought.
$300.
The package she wanted us to buy was $300. My heart sank. I collapsed in tears. This was the first time I had cried since Isaac had been born. I'm a bit of a picture fanatic, pictures mean a great deal to me, and these were lovely pictures, the loveliest pictures I had ever seen.
My family talked me down a bit, I didn't need that package. It included all sorts of things I didn't even want, like birth announcement cards that I never had any intention of sending. What I wanted was just the pictures, that picture c.d. That cost $125.
For months and months after, every time I related this story, I would choke on my words because this is what gets me:
Noah and I could afford it. We had no money in our bank account for almost a week after, but all our bills had already been paid. We hadn't planned for that purchase, but the money was there.
I would imagine for many families in that hospital, that money is not there. It would not be merely an inconvenience, it would not be a struggle they could make, it would be an impossibility.
I know if seems such a petty thing. We should count our blessings, a healthy baby and mother, and family, food for our children, clothing on our backs, shelter over our heads, money to pay the rent: I know that these are the things that matter.
But...
You've just given birth, your hormones are crazy, you are proud of this child and they take these pictures, show them to you in some hyped up way, play up your emotions and then ask you to pay hundreds of dollars for these pictures.
I would imagine some people don't care at all, but I can't help but think that there are those who do care, who would love these pictures that they take, put on your checklist no less, but just can't afford them.
It seems cruel to me.
I told Noah, if we are blessed with a second child, the photographer will come and take the baby's pictures, but she is not allowed back in the room with her slideshow and music. When she comes back, Noah will just hand her the check (and we will budget for this), take the c.d. and put it away until I am prepared to look at it.
My heart breaks as I imagine the emotions that course through the woman who is filled with the emotions of pregnancy and childbirth, who might worry about providing for the child as she's forced to sift through these idyllic pictures which she cannot afford.
.jpg)
.JPG)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)