The Facebook Over-Sharer?

Facebook is a completely different place now than it was when I first joined back in March of 2005. I remember so well when Samford students were finally able to join and we all jumped on the band wagon and feverishly began 'friending' one another. It has changed and grown so much since then, with the addition of status updates, pictures, groups, notifications, mini-feeds, comments, and of course the ever popular 'like' button. Back in 2005 it was only for college students who had a college email, but they slowly included more and more groups of people, and now anyone over the age of 13 can have an account. It is no longer just a college thing and hey, those of us who joined back then aren't even in college anymore. What amazes me constantly is how everyone has such varying opinions about what facebook rules should be. What is the correct facebook etiquette? What do people expect from their facebook friends? I think most people have rules that they follow for themselves, but they expect others to follow as well, but are these rules universal?

I admit it, I am a huge facebook addict; I check my facebook account multiple times a day, read all the news in my news-feed and update my profile, status, and pictures regularly, and as of two years ago, I even have facebook on my phone. I have been a facebook addict since 2005. When I got engaged on October 22, 2005 I changed my profile picture to a picture of my new engagement ring (there were no photo albums back then, the profile picture was the only way to upload a picture, there was no 'engaged' relationship status, and also there were no status updates). My friends wrote on my wall and I felt loved and grateful. When facebook added the photo albums (a limit of 60 pictures in one album) I created all sorts of albums and uploaded pictures of my college friends, our Delta Omicron events, my friends' weddings, family holidays, and Noah and me. When they introduced the status update it included the word 'is' For instance: Katie Hoppe is at the library, Katie Hoppe is at the mall. I remember trying to come up with all sorts of creative ways of expressing myself while still remaining grammatically correct within the construct of Katie Hoppe is.... I enjoy facebook, love reading other people's updates, and love making updates of my own, but I realize that not everyone shares this love and I wonder how much is too much and what is our responsibility to be sensitive to others. 

Facebook can be a miserable place though for many people at different times in their life. Though I've always loved facebook, it was a really hard place for me to visit when I was struggling with infertility for three years. It seemed that everyday, someone else was announcing their pregnancy, posting pictures of their baby or ultrasound, or updating their status about their pregnancy or child. I was constantly fighting feelings of jealousy, bitterness, and a deep sadness. At one point I deactivated my facebook for about a week, and at another time, I hid everyone who had children from my 'news feed.'  Although, it isn't just updates about children that can be upsetting, but updates about engagements, marriages, jobs, trips, houses, and other purchases that cause others pain. Is there such a thing as 'over sharing'? Can you update too much? Are there things that we should and should not share on facebook?

I had one friend who did not update her facebook when she got her first job after a year of being a substitute teacher because she knew that there were others out there still struggling to find work and she wanted to be sensitive to them because she remembered what it was like when she was reading constant updates about new jobs when she had been looking and interviewing. I recently had another friend post that she does not put 'belly pictures' up on her facebook, because she remembers how affected she had been by seeing those constant pictures when she was struggling with infertility. This hits me hard. As I mentioned previously, I love updating my facebook but I don't want to hurt anyone. Am I wrong for being such a constant updater on facebook?

I don't have an answer. I am sure many people have firm but varying opinions on this topic and there is no Emily Post book we can consult for facebook etiquette. Everyone has different levels of comfort about sharing their joys and sorrows and everyone has different levels of facebook involvement. Is there such a thing as over sharing on facebook? Where do we draw the line between sharing and over sharing? 

From March 2011-November 2011, I put up 43 posts about or related to pregnancy and updated my profile picture 9 times with belly pictures. 

From November 2011-July 2012, I have posted 69 times either about my baby or mentioning my baby, have updated 7 photo albums 60 times that have pictures of my baby in them, and have updated my profile picture 9 times with a picture of a baby. 

I tried hard to not fall in this trap, but here's my honest truth:

1. I love pictures. I take pictures constantly. I love scrapbooking, organizing pictures, framing pictures, and even posting pictures. 2. I love my son. As hard as it was for me before I had him, I am even more so overjoyed that he is here now. I have considered the idea of creating another facebook account for Isaac, where I would post updates about him and pictures of him there, that way only people who wanted these updates and pictures of him would see them. I will still think this idea over further.

I try my best everyday to never be condescending to anyone, to be sensitive the needs and feelings of others, and respect everyone's current place in life whether by choice or not. I would never and have certainly never meant to assert that my life is more blessed, busier, or more filled than anyone else's. I realize though, I am not perfect, I make mistakes everyday and I am really sorry if I have ever caused anyone pain. . I have been pondering this query of how much to share since March of 2011 and am no closer to an answer. I have enjoyed the community of facebook with sharing and swapping stories, laughs, and advice but acknowledge the possible negative side effects. I guess all I can do is continue to observe the world around me, try to be as attuned as possible, and try to find a good balance.